In Defense of Balding Musicians

We need to talk about how every aging male pop star still has a full head of hair.

I’ve decided that I will periodically shout out other music publications that I’m enjoying. This week I’m turning my attention to Sunlighter, a weekly digest that will keep you up-to-date on music news, artist discovery, and companies disrupting the industry. Here’s a little blurb from their latest issue:

As digital audio workstations and streaming technology continue to lower the barrier of entry in becoming an artist or producer, oversaturation occurs. When you combine these problems with other music industry trends such as shorter listener attention span and Rob Abelow’s adroit observation of streaming becoming a zero-sum game for artists, you have to wonder … is this the beginning of the end for massively popular hip-hop headliners (just as classic rock, disco, jazz, and other popular genres eventually went out of style)?

If you enjoyed that, you should subscribe. Now that you’ve got a new thing to read, let’s talk about something unexpected: baldness.

Where Have All the Balding Men Gone?

In the middle of the 1980s, there were few musicians as popular as Phil Collins. The drummer-turned-vocal-powerhouse cracked the top decile of the Billboard Hot 100 ten times between 1984 and 1989 as a solo artist. In addition, he had five top 10 hits as a member of Genesis during the same period. Here is what Mr. Collins looked like during his imperial era.

Phil Collins, mid-1980s

At the height of his pop powers, Phil Collins was losing his hair. And he wasn’t the only balding star around at this time. Mark Knopfler, the front man of Dire Straits, was losing his hair. So was Jan Hammer, the man behind the popular theme song to Miami Vice, along with The Who’s Pete Townshend.

I find this interesting because though we sometimes see a pop star with a shaved head, we almost never see one who is actively losing their hair. There are a few reasons why.

First off, the 1980s saw the oldest pop stars since the inception of the Hot 100 in 1958. Baldness, of course, is more of an issue for older people. Secondly, there are fewer male artists topping the Hot 100 these days. Baldness is less of an issue for women. These factors aside, the most important reason we see fewer balding pop stars is likely because those that are balding are getting hair restoration procedures done. Science has made a Phil-Collins-looking pop star a thing of the past.

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Celebrities defying Father Time with cosmetic procedure is nothing new. But as I was reading a passage from the musician Nick Cave’s website, I was thinking how the lack of balding pop stars might symbolize something a bit more pernicious. Cave was talking about AI trying to write a song in his style, not baldness, but I’ll explain the connection in a second.

This is part of the authentic creative struggle that precedes the invention of a unique lyric of actual value; it is the breathless confrontation with one’s vulnerability, one’s perilousness, one’s smallness, pitted against a sense of sudden shocking discovery; it is the redemptive artistic act that stirs the heart of the listener, where the listener recognizes in the inner workings of the song their own blood, their own struggle, their own suffering. This is what we humble humans can offer, that AI can only mimic, the transcendent journey of the artist that forever grapples with his or her own shortcomings. This is where human genius resides, deeply embedded within, yet reaching beyond, those limitations.

Being human is being fragile. Making great art often involves engaging with that fragility head on. Of course, people should try to remain healthy, but when every pop star has a perfectly chiseled figure, wrinkles-less skin, and flowing hair, they are not just creating an unattainable standard, they are diminishing a piece of their humanity.

I realize this point sounds sort of silly - especially coming from someone who still has their hair - but if we only accept musicians that look a certain way, even if that way is related to male pattern baldness, then you’ve got to think we are excluding tons of other people from making it into the limelight. In short, the homogenous appearance we expect of our pop stars likely means we are missing out on great artists who don’t fit that typical mould.

A New One
"as long as im with you" by John Cozz
2023 - Indie Rock

John Cozz represents the duality of punk music. On one song, he’ll croon about taking the Greyhound bus with his girl. On another, he’ll shout about how fast food makes him feel like shit. "as long as im with you," the lead single from his forthcoming EP, falls into the former category. Though the entire thing is dripping with jangling joy, you won’t be able to hold back a smile when the song shifts to a lilting half time around the 1:30 mark.

An Old One
"Blue Bossa" by Jimmy Rosenberg
2004 - Gypsy Jazz

I went to Switzerland with my girlfriend last week. She had to go for business, so I decided to tagalong. One night, I had to get dinner alone because she was dining with her client. After eating some delicious falafel, I walked into the first pub I could find. Nobody in the pub spoke great English, so I was sort of being a wallflower.

As I sipped in silence, my ears perked up. The bartender had just put on a new song that featured someone playing at light speed on the acoustic guitar. I had to find out who it was. With the help of Google Translate and the bartender, I discovered the song was by Jimmy Rosenberg, a gifted but troubled guitar savant. His playing was the perfect illustration for how music can fill in the gaps when words fail.

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Feeling bored? Check out On a Related Note, the new podcast that I’m cohosting with my cousin. It’s a light-hearted, pop culture game show of sorts.

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