Michael Should Be a Girl's Name

Or, one of my crackpot theories

If you enjoy this newsletter, consider ordering a copy of my debut book, Uncharted Territory: What Numbers Tell Us about the Biggest Hit Songs and Ourselves. It’s a data-driven history of popular music covering 1958 to 2025. If you want your book signed, I am going to be at Little City Books in Hoboken, New Jersey, on Thursday, December 4 talking about the book with the incredible journalist Michael Tedder. Reserve your spot if you’re interested.

Now, I wanted to try something new and present you with a crazy theory that has been bouncing around in my brain. I promise it’s connected to music but not as obviously as most of my newsletters. Let me know if you enjoy this one.

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Michael Should Be a Girl’s Name

By Chris Dalla Riva

If you type the name “Michael” into the search bar on Wikipedia, here are the first pages that come up:

• Michael Jackson (b.1958)

• Michael Jordan (b.1963)

• Michael J. Fox (b. 1961)

• Michael the Archangel (b.?)

• Michelangelo (b. 1475)

That’s a pretty talented group of dudes. And those dudes represent a wide range of the human experience: music, athletics, acting, faith, and art. Honestly, if you had to pit the accomplishments of the first five people that come up on Wikipedia for each given name, you might not do better than “Michael.” (Punch your given name into Wikipedia and give it a try.)

Those five Michaels also suggest something else. “Michael” is a man’s name, and it’s been a man’s name for a very long time.

Since the Social Security Administration began keeping track in 1880, “Michael” has been one of the top 60 most popular names for newborn boys in every single year. In fact, since 1954 it’s been the top name for newborn boys in 64% of years.

All that said, “Michael” should have become a girl’s name.