Long Closers: An Album a Day
Featuring Pink Floyd, Coldplay, the Velvet Underground, and others
My friend Ken and I decided to listen to an album every day this year. Each week is themed. At the end of each week, we rank what we listened to. To be clear, we aren’t ranking every album that fits the theme. We are only ranking what we chose to listen to during the last seven days.
This week’s theme is “long closers,” meaning albums that end with a song that is at least 7 minutes in length. This was inspired by my love of the 9-minute epics that close two of Bruce Springsteen’s first three albums (i.e., “New York City Serenade,” “Jungleland”). Please note that after the album name and release year, I list the long closer and its length. We also include a short discussion on if the long closer is worth its length. Let us know what other albums with long closers you like.
#7 Independent Worm Saloon by Butthole Surfers (1993: “Clean It Up” - 8:39)
Though Steven Hyden has made the claim that “Every band name is dumb if you think about it long enough,” there are certain names that I find so off-putting that they almost prevent me from ever wanting to take a listen. The two that come to mind are Diarrhea Planet and the Butthole Surfers. I still haven’t been able to get past the name of the former, but the latter broke through when I heard their mid-1990s, psyche-slacker jam “Pepper.” So, when Ken suggested Independent Worm Saloon I was excited. That excitement didn’t last long. Ken and I hated this album.
Independent Worm Saloon is chaotic. You’ve got heavy metal riffs (e.g., “Goofy’s Concern”). You’ve got weird, folksy numbers (e.g., “The Ballad of Naked Man”). You’ve got raging punk tempos (e.g., “Dust Devil”). This is not an issue in the abstract. I like a lot of albums that traverse many styles. But the Butthole Surfers feel like they’re trying to make a joke that (a) is largely unpleasant and (b) I’m not in on. Childish jokes are fine, but I need some seriousness.
Was the long closer worth the price of entry? “Clean It Up” is a lot of static. But 8 minutes of static is more pleasant than the rest of this record. So, sure, “Clean It Up” is worth your time.
#6 Music of the Spheres by Coldplay (2021: “Coloratura” - 10:17)
We don’t accept Coldplay hate in this newsletter. And I say that as someone who isn’t a big Coldplay fan. But for a massive band that has historically been the butt of the joke from musical snobs, everyone likes at least one Coldplay song. Maybe it’s “Yellow” or “The Scientist” or “Clocks” or “Viva La Vida” or “Fix You” or even “Paradise,” but there’s probably one piece across their discography that you enjoy. One of those songs probably isn’t on Music of the Spheres, though.
Music of the Spheres is an about face from the British quartet’s previous LP, Everyday Life. Where Everyday Life was their most experimental work in a decade, Music of the Spheres sees them return to the place they are most comfortable: the stadium. Cowritten with pop savant Max Martin and featuring stars like BTS and Selena Gomez, Music of the Spheres is big chorus after big chorus.
And it mostly works. Many of those choruses are memorable. The problem is that outside of those choruses, the record feels pointless. What do big stadium choruses amount to when you are already filling stadiums? The whole thing feels like an unnecessary exercise, especially when it’s clear the group wanted to make some grand, pan-humanist statement (i.e., see various songs just titled emojis).
Was the long closer worth the price of entry? Yes. The structurally strange “Coloratura” is the most interesting song on the record, the piece holding your attention with singable melodies, unexpected solos, and heavenly atmospheres.
#5 Meddle by Pink Floyd (1971: “Echoes” - 23:33)
Meddle is similar to the Butthole Surfers’ Independent Worm Saloon in that the record covers a tremendous amount of sonic ground. You’ve got weird, undulating instrumentals (e.g., “One of These Days”). You’ve got somber, acoustic ballads (e.g., “A Pillow of Winds”). You’ve also got jazzy musical hall-ish numbers (e.g., “San Tropez”).
But this comparison is really just a structural similarity. Meddle is a much stronger record because, despite their weirdness, Pink Floyd knows how to write a memorable melody (e.g., “Fearless”) and have fun in a way that the listener can enjoy (e.g., “Seamus”).
Was the long closer worth the price of entry? I’m typically not into endless, proggy compositions, but “Echoes” is worth all of its 23 minutes even if I still think it pales in comparison to the long suites it foreshadows on Dark Side of the Moon and The Wall.
#4 And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside-Out by Yo La Tengo (2000: “Night Falls on Hoboken” - 17:42)
Most of And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside-Out is reminiscent of a lullaby, its vocals nearly whispered over dreamy guitarscapes (e.g., “Last Days of Disco”). Because of that, this record feels cozy, like a warm hug you never want to be released from.
Still, that hug might get tiresome if it were uninterrupted. Amid those sleepy lullabies, Yo La Tengo slip in noisier numbers, like “Cherry Chapstick,” that make sure you stay awake, your mind drifting in a dreamy but conscious haze.
Was the long closer worth the price of entry? As a Hoboken, New Jersey, resident for the last five years, I’ve always felt like a bit of a phony for never listening to Yo La Tengo, the most notable musical act from the city outside of Frank Sinatra. So, I thought this week’s theme was a great reason to dip my toe into the Yo La Tengo discography, especially since And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside-Out ends with the 19-minute “Night Falls on Hoboken.” Though it probably wouldn’t matter if you cut out 5 minutes of the track, it’s a perfect microcosm of the rest of the dreamy record.
#3 Blur by Blur (1997: “Essex Dogs” - 8:10)
Ken made it clear that if these rankings were just based on his taste, then Blur’s self-titled record would have led the pack this week. But my tastes also matter for this weekly exercise. So, the record containing the English quartet’s most famous song (i.e., “Song 2”) had to come in at number three.
I did enjoy Blur, though. In fact, I enjoy much of the music that is lumped under the “Britpop” moniker. I like this record specifically because it pairs digestible melodies with lyrical imagery that can border on depressive and macabre (e.g., “You’re So Great”)
Was the long closer worth the price of entry? Not really. The rest of the album is pretty efficient and “Essex Dogs” seems to drag. Ken did note that the 8-minute piece seems to foreshadow some of Damon Albarn’s work with the Gorillaz. That reframing did make it a bit more enjoyable.
